Cul de Cuvée: Sparkling filth & special tea
The recently-random bits.
We at CdC HQ would love to say that we’re blasting out this special “Holiday Edition”, but in reality, it’s more like the “Procrastinator’s Edition” so let’s get into it… right after this delicious cup of South Korean tea which is, well, “special tea” that a certain richest moron in the world might really enjoy.
Could it be that there just might be Yankee Tea in our near futures? Given the writhing snake’s nest that is importation to the US at the moment, it very well could happen! The “Super Maté” may kindly stay the fuck away from the stars n’stripes however.
English Champagne is the gift that keeps on giving if you give it to a French person who will then have yet one [more] reason to hate you, forever.
Is it okay to binge drink like, sometimes? And by sometimes, we don't mean only on days starting with a ‘t’ (lookin’ at you Thaturday.) The answer may surprise you in that is more than likely it won't possibly cause cancer. All other bets? Very much, ‘off’.
As Tom Gilbey sums up, Cava is that bag of filth that won't stop giving (albeit in a different manner than English Champagne) and as an added bonus, it smells like a bar of soap. Yum dee yum yum yum!
When given the choice of any liquor in a shop, what does a raccoon to reach for when on a bender? Scotch. Scotchy Scotch Scotch.
From the No Fucking Shit Sherlock Bureau, OMG, if y’all just waited, you’d see that Millennials would eventually drink wine too. Why the change? Because they’re finally middle aged and realizing that the only meaning of life, is wine.
But in case coming after your booze wasn't enough, now they're coming for your buzz with “the low- and no-caffeine lifestyle”. What a wonderful time to be alive and pay five bucks for something with no caffeinated happy ending. It’s like the strip bar of beverages.
From our Department of Heartwarming Kitten Videos comes the story that people have banded together to save famed glassware producer, Duralex (again, not a condom maker.) This will shed a tear in the eye of even the most jaded hipster barista, which yes, is triple redundant AF.
In case you didn’t want to haven’t heard, Michelin Guide is officially doing wine coverage. Thankfully, they've decided to move into two of the least-covered wine regions in the world: Burgundy and Bordeaux. Thank god for this deliciously fresh take! Of a French publication… covering French regions!
In case you’re in need of an excuse to drink wine(s), just remember that you don't need to look at zee watch when you order zee wine.
Apparently Bon Appétit is throwing caution to the wind and ignoring the “don’t get high on your own supply” by opening up a restaurant at JFK airport. One can only hope it will go better than the “very beige space” clown car that has been the Restoration Hardware restaurant, although it was at least said that it “…feels very European in here.”
From the Official CdC Language Courses, you should know that “Las Vegas” is Spanish for, “The Vegas”, but more importantly, it's a Mecca for people who aren't going to Mecca. Take it from Cunk.
Hot off the Desk of Family Political Discussion at Christmas Dinner, there’s still the ongoing debate about how much to drink. We at the CdC HQ would again like to emphasize that we have now not nor will we every be drinking alcohol for implied ‘health’ benefits. That shit just tastes good and, despite the use of heavy TikTok filters (as well as being on TikTok), the staff here is all very much middle aged and we know/hope that this is as good as it gets.
And lastly, we shall close out the year with the fact that Russian wines were smuggled into the US and judged at the San Francisco Chronicle wine competition. Of the 14 wines awarded medals, four received “double” Gold, six Gold, five Silver, and four Bronze. If this comes as a shock, do keep in mind that this most excellent competition has also awarded “double” Gold to Trump winery wines in the past well. Keep up the quality and keep it on brand gentlemen, keep it on brand.
Until we meet again, up in the cul of the cuvée.