Cul de Cuvée: Pass the Prosecco, carefully
The recently-random bits.
If you’re as eagle-eyed as we at the CdC HQ think you are, then you’ll be noting the branding change for this fine publication. The reason? Well, much like Bari Weiss who managed to sell off her political vibe blog, The ‘Free’ Press for a slathering $150 million, we too have cashed the ass out to something with a different name. How much? Well, it certainly wasn’t $150 million! Let your imagine run as wild and free as a buffalo on a Las Vegas cocaine bender.
In case you don’t read the news and find yourself ‘happy’ these days, how about celebrating with a bottle of bubbly? Just make sure it’s not the Kirkland Prosecco from Costco in the US as the bottles, are known to shatter, much like how their wine production tanks are known to explode-er. You can never say it’s a dull moment in Prosecco land, unless of course it’s the ‘Happy’ Hour Prosecco offer at a local pub in the UK which is of course, the most soulless hour on the planet.
From the Desk of Animal Antics, we bring word that sea otters are stealing surf boards, again, black cats were banned from being adopted leading up to Halloween, chimps are eating fermented fruit for all the right reasons, and when it isn’t about boar swimming up on the beaches of Spain, it’s about coyotes from Angel Island going for a pleasure dip in the frigid San Francisco Bay waters. Those crazy non-humans, what will they think of next?!!
Were you concerned when by-the-glass wine prices hit $18 in San Francisco? Well don’t be as now they’ve reached $25 a glass, because who wants to drink that shit anymore? We all know it’s just for those oldz in the Boomer and that other Gen-Somethin’ group. Everyone cool now hits the no-low or goes to visit wineries without drinking wine.
From our ever-excitable Vaffanculo Bureau, somebody is very, very unhappy about the admittedly stupid changes to the ever-so-simply cacio e pepe pasta recipe. And of course now in Naples there are ‘local’ traditions that absolutely no local does or has even heard of other than to see a half kilometer line of “gli dumbshitti” waiting to do partake in said bogus traditions. And of course, $1.5 billion of stock in Campari is now ‘owned’ by the Italian government due to its majority stakeholder committing tax evasion. Saluti!
From the CdC Totally Not Sponsored Tourism Hot List comes this absolute hotel gem in Belarus. Don’t let the sad looks get you down as our on-the-ground reporter in Geneva who was sent a brochure read that the breakfast buffet is to die for.
And what’s sure to inspire all country music for the next half a century, Bourbon, has fallen on hard times as there’s simply more of it than any mustachioed hipster in Brooklyn can possibly drink right, even without taking into account the fact they’re not drinking any alcohol at all.
In a case of But That’s Not Journalism a wine importer is confused with the former mayor of New York City due to an issue of, “not asking questions” and doing “fuck all for journalistic integrity.”
This interview has a château’s worth of garbage and you’ll love every word of it.
If you’ve made the climb down do Kelingking Beach in Nusa Penida off the coast of Bali, you, were an idiot. All your had to do wait until the Chinese finished construction of a $12 million glass elevator in order to fully crap up every last experience of the great destination that Bali one was.
From our Dang That’s Fun Desk, there’s a new open alcohol container entertainment zone! The only problem, it’s in Redding where fun goes to be buried in California after it’s died a horrible death somewhere else.
The history of “girl dinner” through the ages because we all very much needed it.
And lastly, from the Department of First World Problems, after selling a winery to make a truly shitty film, it turns out you gotta sell your watch too so that you can afford to continue existing due to that truly shitty film. Don’t say you weren’t warned… for the last two and a half decades.
Until we meet again, up in the cul of the cuvée.