Cul de Cuvée: New Year's Beer & that Shitty DJ

The recently-random bits.

For the fine makers of sparkling wines in Spain’s Catalunya region, the year started off on a ‘brown’ note as TV3, the main regional broadcaster, saw the New Year toasted in with… beer. (CAT) We at the CdC HQ are (very) alcohol agnostic and Estrella Damm is a fine lager, but, come on, the only thing less glamorous than watching NYE hosts chug a bottle of brewski like they’re pledging a frat is watching the current Transatlantic Shitshow about a “very big” island. The plus side is that the various sparkling wine bodies as well as ‘everyone’, all joined forces to declare in unison, “Ass, ass, ass.”

For those who might not be drinking and are (somehow) still doing Dry January™, you should know that it is in fact, a freakin’ conspiracy! “No way, CdC, conspiracies are fun and this is one DJ that ain’t fun.” Oh yeah, name one “fun” conspiracy, just one. Can’t do it, can you? That’s what we thought. Now go back to your regularly-scheduled not drinking.

Hot off the Oh Behave Desk comes Alfonso Cevola’s response to the responses that writes about, writing about wine: “...instead of simply writing better, they wrote thousands of words explaining why everyone else is writing worse...” This is one debate in the wine community that’s spreading faster than 2020 Covid. Why? Because it’s catty AF, meow!

For everyone studying for upcoming sommelier exams or some other wine thing that gets you a new piece of flare, keep in mind that a Chihuahua born outside the region is a sparkling rat, just like any ‘Champagne’ that’s not produced in Champagne (lookin’ at you Russia & California.) The Clause de Classification du Chihuahua or (CdCdC) is a little-known subtext in the French appellation laws of 1935. You wouldn’t believe how many people miss this one. Don’t let it be you, be a Wine Law Winner in 2026.

In addition to that weird face thing, yet another side effect of Ozembic et al in the US is apparently that less fat on the plane means more fat in the wallet of the owners, apparently. "…a 2 percent reduction in aircraft weight could boost earnings per share by about 4 percent." And everyone always wonders how European budget airlines make a profit; beyond the inflight cheese sales.

But back to that Dry Jan because January, it's like December but with your pay day moved to the 58th of the month and, it's Dry because calendars hate people. People also hate people but only when there's money to be made by the Dry folks selling Dry Products to... “enjoy.” But yeah, not a conspiracy, not at all…

From our very sarcastic Department of Rhetorical Questions, why not make 200 bottles of wine a year on the edge of a desert? It’s fucking Dry January, just take the booze and run with it before someone starts getting sanctimonious, again.

We at the CdC HQ were a bit bummed to see that Wine Gourd blog is calling it quits. Well, okay, not as bummed the New Year’s Beer, but still, pretty bummed, even though Herr Gourd never retweeted that thing we sent him back in March, 2020. Whatever. Water under the bridge. ‘Enjoy’ your retirement, Gourd Dude.

It was a bit more of a surprise that Lettie Teague, wine columnist of that “left wing rag” the Wall Street Journal was let go as part of restructuring. The irony of course is that this seemed to break on Reddit when one of her most-recent columns was a rundown on said r/wine.

Very importantly, Tatty Macleod does a taste comparison of French potato chips that we were apparently all asking for and now that we’ve seen it, we realize that we were indeed asking without asking, much as how the Brets Miel Moutarde is spice without spice that will sneak up on you, like drinking Tequila when you’re in your [any age].

The largest natural wine producer in the US is shutting down because people aren't drinking wine, or maybe they still are but just don't like the garbage that pours out when your don't add SO2 at bottling. We may never know the real cause!

And lastly, how not to look stupid in Paris, which means bringing wine to events with friends. Just remember that for useless friends, spend a maximum of 4€!

Until we meet again, up in the cul of the cuvée.